When a loved one passes away, we want to pay tribute to their life in a meaningful way. For loved ones, honoring cherished memories and accomplishments is an important part of the grieving process. This step helps commemorate their legacy in a way that feels true to their memory and the values they held.
Writing a eulogy is a beautiful way to share these pivotal moments with the people that loved the departed.
What is a eulogy?
A eulogy, or funeral speech, is a remembrance speech given at a funeral or memorial service by someone who knew the person who has died. Sometimes just one person gives a eulogy at the memorial, and other times multiple people are chosen to share their memories and stories. With families and friends often traveling for a memorial service, eulogies serve as an opportunity for much-needed reflection as everyone gathers to honor a loved one’s passing.
The key is to write something genuine that comes from the heart.
What should I include in a eulogy?
Every eulogy should be unique, but these topics will help you draw inspiration:
- A brief overview of their life, including key milestones, nicknames and life story
- Your favorite memories with them, including a specific anecdote or two
- Details about their relationships with close family and friends
- Any significant accomplishments related to career, interests, or hobbies
- Favourite poems, songs or quotes
How to write a eulogy
There is no right or wrong way to write a eulogy. Have confidence in yourself throughout this process — and if you begin to feel nervous, rely on the memories you have with your loved one to guide you.
A eulogy can include anything that you think is important. You may want to keep it mostly fact-based, written in chronological order with a small personal note of remembrance at the end. Or, you could base it on personal anecdotes and stories that capture the personality of your loved one. These might even be more lighthearted anecdotes, which often helps the assembly feel more at ease.
First, create a timeline of some of their most significant life moments — whether getting married, having children, details of their noteworthy career, a lifetime of travel, or their involvement and dedication to their community. Seeing a timeline of their most important life moments on paper will help you identify what stands out as worth highlighting in your eulogy.
Family members and close friends are another source of ideas. Ask them about their favorite memories, insights into their relationship with the deceased, or places and times of the year that will always remind them of your loved one.
Give yourself time to write and edit down your eulogy to the most appropriate parts. There’s no one size fits all approach to writing a eulogy. Every person is unique so every eulogy will be unique as well. You will have to think a lot about the type of person you are eulogising and how best to communicate that to the people who have come to mourn them.
After you have determined what you want to say, it’s a good idea to practise giving your eulogy. Many people struggle with public speaking, so you are not alone. Read it out loud, either on your own or in front of a trusted friend or family member.
Remember - Speak Slowly. Everyone wants to hear the words you have prepared. Pause for thought. Give people eye contact. This may be difficult, but if you mention a close family member by name you may want to scan the first row to make them feel included.
